Thursday, April 18, 2013

Meltdown Cure

So, the other day my son had a meltdown. His fine motorskills are poor and he's a very logical person and phonics is not logic... I mean, why does the u always have to follow the q? Can't the q make the /qu/ sound all on it's own? Why do you have to have the ck to make the /k/ sound? Can't the k make it by itself? So not logical. I have a very logical child. Handwriting + Phonics = meltdown. When I say meltdown I mean yelling, screaming, throwing...etc. but this is all out of frustration from not understanding something and is common place for this child. My normally very polite son turns evil on me. So, I found a cure! :)

Two days ago he had one and I picked up my cell and started recording it. I have no idea why. I just did. I held it low so he couldn't see it. I am not going to post it on here... I feel like that would be a huge parenting FAIL but trust me when I say, it was rough. It lasted for a good 10 minutes, we completed his spelling words practice and then he was back to my sweet, polite little boy. :) I do love that kid. That evening I decided to talk to my husband about it and show him the video. I wanted him to see what frustrating moments during school look like. I don't think he believed me. My husband watched it and then had this completely inspired idea. He decided to sit with out son and watch the video together. They discussed choices he made and what would have been better. My son was so upset by his actions. He apologized to me and seemed in disbelief that the little boy on the phone was him. I spoke to his occupational therapist about it. She said he probably had no idea that he was doing that. He knew he was upset but didn't know he was taking it to that extreme of behavior. She said showing it to him and discussing it was probably the best thing we could have done. The fact that he showed remorse proved it wasn't a behavioral issue.

So, what happened after that? Yesterday, we were working on composition. This, again, involves phonics and writing. *gasp* I didn't want another meltdown. I saw the signs of one starting so I pulled out the cell phone to record it again. My son saw the phone, froze, took a few deep breaths while clenching and unclenching his fists. Then he turned to me, gently placed his hand on my phone and said, "please don't mom. Don't record it. Will you erase what you have already?" It was the sweetest voice. I said, "Don't worry, you haven't done anything yet. I didn't record a thing." Several times throughout the lesson I saw the signs of frustration and how he struggled so much to not completely lose control. He succeeded each time. My husband and I met with him last night and talked about it. He said he almost started yelling at me but he stopped. We told him how proud we are of him for using that self control. I really am. The way he handled it was so mature. Hopefully that'll continue to work. We told him anytime he loses it we're going to record it and show him later so he can see how he acted. Hopefully, this continues to work. YAY!!!
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